Meanwhile Klein remains optimistic about his chances in the upcoming season.
The maverick owner was quoted as saying, "All I have to do is get off to a fast start again,
like the (Rocky Mountain Dews and Calumet City Killers), and as soon as I have a comfortable
lead, I'll crash the computer." Seems to be a surefire method for success.
. . . other notes from the World's Golf Center . . .
Klein kept referring to taking his team "up north," perhaps leaking a possible franchise move.
Anything would an improvement from Calumet City where The Ball Park at The Junk Yard was in such
poor condition that the Killers had to play 2 or 40 games per day while the field was playable . . .
On scouting, Klein said, "I spent 3 to 4 hours a day scouting last year, and still picked Joe
Carter in the 4th round. My best drafting was done on the cart."
As opposed to what? The phone?
Klein indicated a more hands on approach to league affairs this year . . .
On the "Jay Buhner factor," Klein said, "This cannot be underestimated.
It will probably move Jay from a 4th round pick up to the 2nd round. Or maybe 1st round, Dan." . . .
On his impact on the league, Klein said, "I personally make the league interesting.
The first year I beat Ken to force a playoff, then Greg the next season, and Keith the next.
Not to mention that I made things interesting by trading for Bonds, then protecting Mondesi,
then assembling an all-star relief staff.
Now if I could only get my players to play a full season" . . .
On the Summer League hierarchy, "Don't worry about Dan Casper this year.
He will be prepared play. Nims and Keith are our new 'weekend warriors' so you know you can't
trust those guys. And Commissioner Ken is the only scouting so far, presumably looking for a
new team of DH's. Any other managers I consider to be expansion franchises." . . .
CK's Projected Final Standings
| Chris's Lazy Asses | 89-73 |
| Greg's Huskies | 88-74 |
| Ken's Diggers | 82-80 |
| Keith's Yellow Blackbirds | 80-82 |
| Dan's Barq's | 66-96 |
MVP- Mo Vaughn (who else?)
.206 48 HR 85 RBI 62 SB
Expect another exciting and competitive season!
This Season's Sign the Apocalypse is Coming:
To celebrate Owner/GM Dan Casper's renewed spirituality, Baton Rouge's Bad News Field, a la Notre Dame Stadium, has a commissioned a so-called "Home Run Jesus" mural to be painted on the left field wall.
SLJ's Women's Corner
. . .Not-so-random quotes from Summer League widows. . .
New APBA player Lisa Klein on her husband's chances in '96--"Chris will definitely need my help drafting. Look at the team he let me get."
Linda Anderson on being introduced to the Summer League-- "You mean after Ken spends an 80 hour week working, he'll want to spend 10 more hours with APBA?"
Becky Bartz on fiancee Dan Casper's chances in '96-- "Dan's gonna kick all your asses next year, and he won't know why!"
Kelley Boyens, Brian Boice's once and future girlfriend, on APBA's influence on the Minnesotan-- "I wholeheartedly encourage Brian to play APBA. An interest in APBA, and in sports in general, seems to be a wonderful release for his stressful life. Go Tahi
ti Border Patrol!"
Kristin Klein's view of the Summer League-- "Keith spends entirely too much time with APBA."
SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION
***News From the Tattler***
Lambert Edges Frank for Maloney Award
In one of the closest races ever, Ted Lambert edged out Jim Frank for the
1995 Tommy Maloney Award. Lambert and Frank each received 10 first-place votes and
were named on every ballot. Part-timer Chris Molsen split second-place votes with
Frank on two ballots, giving Lambert a 240 to 235 victory over the former minor
league flamethrower.
Each year, the Maloney Award is given to Twin Orchard's carparker of the
year. This year's winner earned the right to represent the U.S. at the 1996 Olympics
in the carparking exhibition. Carparking will not be a medal sport until 2000.
The 1996 Games should be especially interesting for Lambert amid the
controversy over whether or not professional carparkers should be allowed in Olympic
competition. "I'm hoping to avoid the controversy and just represent our country as
best I can," said Lambert."I'm also hoping to drive really 'rad' Olympic cars," added
the Buffalo Grove resident.
Runner-up Frank refused to be downhearted after the voting was announced.
"Water off a ducks back, my brother," was Frank's answer to every question at the
press conference following the announcement.
Maloney Award Winners
| 1985 | Pete Reece |
| 1986 | Chris Black and Chris Klein (tie) |
| 1987 | --strike season, no winner-- |
| 1988 | Ken Klein |
| 1989 | Dan Casper |
| 1990 | Rick Orr |
| 1991 | Steve Ollendick |
| 1992 | Greg Nims and Brad Freeman (tie) |
| 1993 | Chris Klein |
| 1994 | Tommy Maloney |
| 1995 | Ted Lambert |
KICKS
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Morning Show Producer
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The Buzz Around the League
by
Buzz Johnson
Lots of questions still surround the Summer League as Draft Day approaches.
Stealing? J-4's? Centerfielders? How many teams, and who'll run them?
These are all questions the executive committee will have to deal with before they draft
(come to think of it, the committee will have to decide on an actual draft day).
From Commissioner Ken, the buzz is that the owners will definitely be reviewing the
centerfielder situation. As it is, the teams can only play guys who played a good deal of
centerfield during the season (APBA has no separate CF rating, just an all-inclusive OF
rating). Debate rages though because Commissioner Ken's personal list of centerfielders has
been leaked and it does not include several notable part-time centerfielders.
During Commissioner Ken's meeting, don't be surprised if the other owners move to
depose Ken and end his reign of terror. Said one owner, "This CF stuff is the last straw.
Down with the dictator and power to the people!"
Much discussion about J-4 has also been buzzing around the Summer League. The owners have
noticed a difficulty dealing with J-4's come playoff time. I've learned some owners, like the
Nazi's did in the holocaust, want to go as far as to eradicate J-4's entirely. Didn't we
learn anything from Schindler's List?
While limits were placed on stealing in '95, some owners believe they weren't limiting
enough, while others adapted well and took advantage of the system. The buzz is that all
adjustments this year will be minor. Anyone trying to make major changes will get more than an
earful from Hannibal Owner Greg Nims, I predict.
While other owners are meticulously studying last years numbers and the new
APBA ratings to gain an advantage, the buzz is Greg Nims is trying to gather good luck.
This "good luck scheme" of his involves a return to Hannibal, MO., a vow to field a Buhner, Griffey
Salmon outfield, and a return to his old flame Julie Bennett. Since Greg and Julie broke up,
Greg has been unable to win after going 2 for 2 with Bennett. This writer salutes Nims's
dedication to APBA!
