Gretna Rabid Dogs join SL 2002

Gretna, NE (AP) - Town officials confirmed in a news conference this morning that Gretna will be the home of Greg Nims' SL 2002 franchise.

"You've got a winner in town," stated Nims amid the roars of tens of farmers in Huskers t-shirts.

Lucrative tax breaks, geography, and town name all played key roles in the decision to locate to this sprawling metropolis of 2249 in eastern Nebraska, just southwest of Omaha.

"We had serious talks with Gretna, Louisiana, which has 17208 people," reflected Nims. "But Gretna, NE, has quick access either to Denver to the west or Des Moines, Iowa City, and points east. Also, Louisiana is bad memories, man."

The populations of Lincoln and Omaha figure to be a big draw in the coming season.

"Once spring practice ends, there ain't nothin' to do until fall practice begins," said local Bob Devaney Higgins. "Maybe we'll check out this 'base ball' thing during the summer. I hear they serve beer."

The team takes its name from the Widespread Panic song 'Greta', a song which includes packs of rabid dogs. Untrained domestic pets are also indigent to eastern Nebraska.

Capitalizing on local custom, the Rabid Dogs will wear red uniforms this year.

"We hear Barry Bonds thinks he looks good in red," mused Nims, "so we're hoping to convince him to be a Rabid Dog for the coming season. Either that or we hope we get the #8 slot."